Ka Wai Ola - Office of Hawaiian Affairs, Volume 10, Number 10, 1 October 1993 — Hoʻoponopono: Conflict resolution Hawaiian-style [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Hoʻoponopono: Conflict resolution Hawaiian-style

by Patrick Johnston Ho'oponopono: to correct or put right by family discussion. Long before family counseling and psychiatric care became popular in Western society, Hawaiians had developed a unique form of conflict resolution to help them eope with the strains of an isolated agrarian lifestyle. Like many Hawaiian traditions, ho'oponopono has been nearly stamped out by the modernization that has taken over the islands in the past century. And like many Hawaiian traditions it is now experiencing a rebirth: Hawaiians and non-Hawaiians alike are beginning to recognize its value as a psychological and spiritual healer for both Hawaiian and non-Hawaiian families. "Hawaiians were doing family

therapy long before it became popular in the West," explains Richard Paglinawan, OHA administrator and long-time ho'oponopono practitioner, "but it was thought to be pagan and promptly buried." Some experts believe ho'oponopono developed as a result of the need to deal with conflicts in an isolated region. Unlike people who lived on large land masses, Hawaiians could not simply get up and go when a conflict arose, especially after they stopped traveling regularly from Polynesia and the Marquesas. "In other societies, if there were disputes people could always leave. Isolated Hawaiians could not do that," says Paglinawan. "They had to develop some way of handling disputes. They started

to use the 'ohana, not only the nuclear but also the extended family." Others argue that ho'oponopono grew out of the needs of a coUective society to work closely together to settle disputes. "In an indigenous culture misbehavior was threatening to the entire group," explains Harry Bell, a former sociology professor at the University of Hawai'i. "It was important to get people to vent their frustrations." The revival of ho'oponopono began in the early 1970s when a Hawaiian social worker found it more successful dealing with a delinquent Hawaiian boy using traditional means of conflict resolution over Western ways. The boy believed he was under a curse, was going to die anyway, and didn't care what his actions were. A state-funded study was then carried out by the Queen Lili'uokalani Children's Center to smdy ho'oponopono. It found the process was an effective way of settling family disputes and helping problem members sort

out their difficulties. Ho'oponopono in its traditional form involves family members getting together to discuss a problem that has developed among

them. A leader is chosen, usually the eldest male of the group, who acts as a mediator. Those involved in the dispute never continu.ed on page 8

Ho'oponopono as conflict manager

eonūnueā from page 6

speak directly to one another, only to the leader. This way emotions are kept controlled and members ean show their feelings without disruptive outbursts. "Eaeh member is given equal opportunity," Paglinawan points out. "But you don't talk to the person you're angry at. You talk to the leader. After you give your point of view you listen." In ho'oponopono there are eight steps, the most important centering around discussion and forgiveness. Onee the family deals with the problem the next step is how to fix it. For example, if a son has stolen some money, that money still has to be returned even if the family now understands why the son took it. Members would work together to solve the problem and get the money paid back. The son then makes amends often by carrying out chores or other duties to assist the family. Like all Hawaiian forms of

healing ho'oponopono sessions incorporate prayer. "Spiritual content is very important," explains Sonny Kinney, director of the native Hawaiian health center on the Big Island, one of the few health centers in Hawai'i that uses ho'oponopono as a counseling tool. "Most Hawaiians are Christian and so we always start off with prayer. However the prayer is both to the Christian god and the Hawaiian god. Ho'oponopono, of course, originally only used the Hawaiian god." Ho'oponopono ean be used in a diagnostic, remedial and preventive way: if you don't know the problem, it ean help discover it. If you do know the problem, it ean help solve it. If no problem exists, regular open discussion ean stop any problem from growing into something unwieldy. Paglinawan believes many Hawaiians would like to know more about ho'oponopono, but

the procedure suffers from an acute shortage of practitioners. "Some don't use it but remember it from the past. Others want to use it but there are not a lot of ho'oponopono practitioners to assist them." Ho'oponopono is not a sure-fire way of solving all family disputes. Sometimes the central figure in the dispute will not want to take part in the discussion. Other times the individual or individuals in question will not want to change. In the former case, family members will often have a session without the problem member in an attempt to at least try to understand what the problem might be and make themselves feel better. In an extreme case the family might mō ka piko or "cut the umbilical cord" and release the troublemaker from the fold. This ean make the individual think seriously about his or actions and reconsider his or herposition.